Reblogged from FUCK SQUAD ABQ

oppositeofasuicidenote:

I was thinking about going to Walmart to buy some AXE ANARCHY today but then had some second thoughts.

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Unilever
800 Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey 07632

SUBJECT: AXE BODYSPRAY INQUIRY

Dear Unilever,

I am writing with some questions about your line of “Axe Anarchy” personal care products. I became intrigued after receiving an advertisement stating, “NEW AXE ANARCHY FOR HIM + HER / UNLEASH THE CHAOS”, and am hoping you can answer my questions about whether this product is right for me.

As a 25-year-old anarchist, it seems like I fall in your target market for Axe. That stencil font you use is bad-ass! Like other anarchists, I believe in complete and total liberation from unjust authority, and stand against all forms of domination and oppression. One such form of domination is the gender binary – the false belief that only two genders exist, even though the primary gender determinant in our society is the length of one’s genitalia at birth – and this criteria often does not match one’s lived gender identity. I identify as genderqueer and nonbinary, and since many other anarchists do as well (given our frequent tendency to rebel against everything including hygiene standards), I am guessing you have thought deeply about this issue.

I am wondering: by saying that the new Axe Anarchy is for “Him and Her,” do you mean that it is for only people who identify as either male or female, or that Axe Anarchy is for people who blend elements of both male- and femaleness?

Additionally, since (along with many other anarchists and even some non-anarchists) I use gender-neutral pronouns like they and ze, should I use Axe Anarchy at all? If so, would you recommend the blue or pink bottle?

Relatedly, I have a male friend who crossdresses. Which product should he use when he is crossdressing? I also have several transgender friends (men, women and nonbinary) (many of them also anarchists, or at least libertarian socialist). Should they use the Axe product corresponding to the gender closest to the one they self-identify as, or should they combine the pink and blue products?

Thank you for your attention to these questions. As a socially conscious person, I try to make purchases (when I’m not dumpster-diving, that is!) that align with my beliefs. Obviously, Axe Anarchy seems like a reasonable choice! I look forward to your response to help me decide if this is the case.

In solidarity,

P.S. I’m trying to attract people of all genders, not just girls. Am I allowed to use Axe?

ahahahahah oh my god sdfagdfh

when you resort to postmodern irony in serious writing, illiterates will call you a pretentious jackass. literates will better understand your motivations and call you a pretentious, insecure jackass
— me
mom found this on her computer and said i cant use excel anymore :(

mom found this on her computer and said i cant use excel anymore :(

Reblogged from PetalsandRoses